YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
