roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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