the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
