If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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