and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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