Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
