he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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