I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize