So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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