She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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