it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
