i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
