he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize