i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
