Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
