writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize