There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My dick has a subreddit
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
