how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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