You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
