i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize