I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
