I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
