you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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