she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
high people should be assigned attendants
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
