I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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