I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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