She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
