the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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