carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
