i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
