Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
