We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
