We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
