hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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