The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
