LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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