You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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