So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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