So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
