so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
