my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
