He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
