He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
