don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
