If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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