Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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