i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
3pm strippers are depressing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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