I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
