I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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