I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
