As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
