I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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