"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
