You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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