guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize