a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
