its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
