she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
